Dear friends …
Sometimes people need to talk, just to talk, not to get any advice. Sometimes thinking out loud with another person is way easier than thinking alone. We need to know when someone chooses to show us his her weakness or open up their box of secrets and talk. We need to realize it’s probably very hard for that person. No one wants to look like a loser or a weak person, or to look like someone who another person takes advantage of. But the exhaustion of thinking alone pushes some people to talk with their friends. So you have to be sensitive and know that shutting your mouth is better than saying stupid things.
Saying something like, “Oh ok, all that you need to do is forget that to move on,” is the most stupid thing you will ever say. It is wrong to ask someone to “forget.” If that person was able to forget, do you think that heshe will ever show you hisher broken heart?
And who said that forgetting is the solution? We always remember everything we have been through. Whenever you come across something that reminds you of those memories, the pain and hurt will come alive again; it means you have not healed. There is NO “rest in peace” for our experiences, memories and pain. Especially when everyone around us is trying to make us feel bad about our reaction to a bad experience. When we do not cry enough or express our sadness enough, it will remain inside us and hunt us for the rest of our life.
Everyone should know that it is ok to cry whenever we feel like crying. It is ok to be depressed whenever we need to be. It’s not a big deal to lock yourself inside your room for a while or eat too much and not care about how you look. Do not ever feel bad about looking like shit for awhile. It is natural and part of the solution.
We have to remember everything, we should remember every single bad memory because moving on is not about forgetting anything. It is about remembering everything and just not caring about it anymore. This will happen when you do what you feel like doing whenever you want to in order to heal from that experience. When you remember what you felt, you will never make the same mistake again–unless you are stupid and never learn from your mistakes-. Remembering will make you avoid any memory attack-that is the hardest part.
People please do not give anyone advice that happens to jump inside your head while you are listening to some broken person talk. Take a deep breath and swallow your words. Listening is the best thing you can do for a broken hearted person. The most important thing is to make that person know there is someone who cares.